because I asked you to

he moved away
we still heard a hum on the wire sometimes,
just the echo of a sound
the way a voice that was once familiar
but not heard for many years
turns a key in your ear
and brings you back to a familiar crossroads

we went back to discussing the textures of sentences

engrossed in the words until the words dissolved
and she was painting, singing
it was images, hieroglyphs, toadstools...
dancing over paper
that wasn't paper
it was the white opaque sky on the way home from school
the bus cutting through the burning autumn fields
it was the sheet on the bed where love lay sick and confused
it was virgin snow, bloodshot eyes
the baby's bottom, the clawfoot tub
it was an Is and so always will Be

in the afternoon she pried herself away
to stretch out the knots

because if I told you
you'd think I was crazy
and be no good to talk to anymore
or worse, you'd believe me
and then I'd have to wonder
if maybe you were a little crazy

no one complained
the gleeful comedy of the sacredly damned
Peking swans
the gifts of Athena and others
agriculture and writing, math and science, art
these were all given in an exchange
there was something each time that we gave up
or that was taken from us by our own creation
because nothing is free
we created and upheld the idea of sacrifice
in order to explain our tragedies
to justify our debts and cut our losses
to have something else, some higher power
be responsible and so to blame
and so we told ourselves that nothing is free and we believed it
so do you believe that there is anything that is free anymore
besides your own beliefs?
including your own beliefs?
are you free to be... leave?

because I want to

on cue from the moon
the insects drone
hush
frogs sing
solo baritone
to the pulse that sails through the sky
leaving the night in its wake
gaining some other ground, another setting
the vault, heaven
all lines are open
isolated and whole
the stars dilate and show me their colors
their bellies
and I am all alone with you
in a jar of formaldehyde