Souvenirs

by Gardening Angel

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about

Written & recorded in 28 days (mostly- there are some lyrics and riffs I already had brewing) for F.A.W.M. 2015.
Donations are super mega extremely greatly appreciated.

credits

released October 1, 2015

photo by Jessica Wright 2001
"Hard Time Kitchen Floor Blues" lyrics by Peter Murphy a.k.a. BlindKiwi

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about

Gardening Angel Spokane, Washington

Solo singer songwriter from Spokane WA plays several instruments and records herself. Seriously.

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Track Name: Picture
I wear your picture on a chain 'round my neck
I've got your songs stuck in my head
look at your poster up on my wall
and know I don't know you, no I don't know you at all

But you've always been there when no one else was
no one to love me, no one for me to love
so I wear your t-shirt and I read your book
and know I don't know what you've seen,
just how you look

How does it feel to be all alone?
listening to yourself on the radio
all the good times you were by my side
wonder where you really were

I know that we'd probably not get along
wouldn't have much to say
wouldn't have much in common
I wear your t-shirt next to my skin
and know I don't know where you are
just where you've been

But oh when the lights go out
tell me who's gonna save me from myself
when the storms on a roll
and friends have all gone home
tell me who's gonna sing me off to bed?

I know that we all sometimes feel alone
from the day that you die to the day that you're born
I've seen your picture and I've heard your name
and know I don't know you
but I love you just the same
Track Name: Useless
when you told me i wasn't there
should not have listened to what you said
then the only pieces left
were the cast offs & left for dead
but i am crawling from this grave
where you buried me in shame
like a dog who knows he's wrong
you're afraid of what i've become

>in this cold where you turned me out
held me up and struck me down
i mutated into one
that you can't control
like you did before
'cause i have crawled out of the grave
where i slept beside your hate
that is coming after you
you're afraid of what i can do

why did you use me if i'm so useless
why did you use me if i'm so useless
i know you won't ask me for forgiveness
why did you use me if i'm so useless

run from what you've done
now you're running scared
Track Name: Homeless Agoraphobic Blues
I can't even.
Track Name: Burden
blame it on the weather
screwed it up again
drop me with a feather
i'm putty in your hands
no, i'm not complaining
when you kiss me where it hurts
just wish it would start raining
and wash off all this dirt
'cause I've been crawling through the mud
just to get to you
but now there's nothing left of me

it hurt too much to feel
so i cut my feelers off
stopped looking in your eyes
so they wouldn't linger on
'cause I've been staring at the darkness
for any sign of light
and burned out all my days just to last the night
and I had to eat my heart out just to stay alive
and now i'm all that's left of me

give away my burdens
trade 'em in for space
nothing left to lose
walk off the human race

I gave away my burdens just to get you
and now all that is left is me
Track Name: Echoes
Here we are again
it’s you and me, my friend
the laughter has gone home
the party’s gone to bed
they’re sweeping up the floors
and locking up the doors
and we can’t stay here
but we don’t have to go
oh, the echoes of the ghosts
If these old walls could speak
the secrets that they keep
chains of cigarettes
and conversation threads
meet out by the fire
a broken, drunken choir
while the painted trains try to sing along
oh, the echoes of the ghosts
oh, the echoes of the ghosts
it’s only the breaking of your heart
that’s been broken a thousand times or more
so you crack open a grin
and get back up again
just like you did a thousand times before
oh it’s only the echoes of your heart
dancing on the ceiling
and bouncing off the walls
only the echoes of the ghosts

the faces and the names
are gone but there’s a place
that waits for them to come back
and leave without a trace
catch you the next round
who knows how long ‘til then
maybe these old walls
will have burned to the ground
where will they go then?
it’s you and me, my friend
we can’t stay here forever
Track Name: Rhymes With Moon
well, gather 'round kindred souls
we'll climb the mountains full of moles
and wax on like the poet's moon
and something something rhymes with moon
well, what you see is what you make
so make the world a lovely place
and love the things you get to do
and just be nice and don't be cruel

Oh, don't sell yourself short
you're better than that
I've seen you at your worst
I've seen you at your best
no, it's not your fault that it's raining
but that don't mean
you gotta stand there and get rained on

So, if you want in the club
all you gotta do is show up
'cause we all need to get loved
and we all need to give love
so, here try some of mine
and pass it down and 'round in kind
it all comes back around
if it's lost that means it can still be found

Oh, don't sell yourself short
you're better than that
I've seen you at your worst
I've seen you at your best
no, it's not your fault that it's raining
but that don't mean
you gotta stand there and get rained on
Track Name: Ambivelocity
(My roommate brought some loud drunk people home and they woke me up so I recorded them.)
Track Name: Piece Of Mine
I tried to tell you all the things
all the things that mattered to me
oh but all you could hear was her voice on the line
just a little little bit like mine

It didn't take you long to see
things don't care how you you want them to be
oh but you just kept staring at that picture in your mind
looks a little little bit like mine

Over your head, under your skirt
washed by the rain, cleansed by the dirt
under your bed they wait for your call
to save you from the light in the hall

I tried to tell you everything
I tried to tell you everything

I tried to give you all you need
and to fix your broken dreams
oh but all you could feel was your own hurt inside
and just a little little piece of mine
Track Name: Way Of Lost Souls
Broken down and out there on the way of being human
I was looking out for vultures
all while trying not to be one
and you know I can't run with you
'cause it hurt too much to leave you
in the dust of empty cities
like a ghost on that old bar stool

and you know I'm coming back someday
but before I do I must go away
in this cold where the dead ones play
I will find you where the lost souls pave the way

I left you in the night my dear
I left while you were gone out and I cried each night
alone out here without you in my arms
my absent family do you still love me or did you ever
do you still? or was I just another pill to swallow down
where the dead ones play
they know I'm going back someday
but before I do I must go away
come and find me where the lost souls pave the way
Track Name: Souvenir
Remember that old barn and the letters that you wrote
hidden in the hayloft where we sat so long ago
walking in the fields, the highway into town
we're going to watch a movie
won't you come and see your friends

The cross above the church
glows the same shade neon pink
as the Deja Vu Live Nude Girls
sign just down the street
and the Sunday morning hobos
are the only signs of life
as you stumble home from yet another
wasted sleepless night

Everywhere you've ever been is there inside your head
and these scars are just a souvenir
of places you have been

You don't see signs like that anymore
it's been a long time since I knocked on that old door
for the last time
they don't cut lines like that anymore
if you're just going to cheat
then why am I keeping score?

Every breathe you've ever spent
is there inside your skin
and these lines are just a souvenir
of places you have been

This body's just a souvenir
a place that you have been
Track Name: Big Blue Jar
Well I've been through it all or at least a good portion
answered the call to seek out my fortune
but this life's not all spent, this journey's not done
by the time that it is, kid, I'll be halfway to the sun

Fly away, back to the clay
the sun's going downtown
but daughter moon's on her way up
out and into the clouds have broken
the stars are scattered so far
we're all just specimen and women in this big blue jar

I went up in the trees, buried down in the dirt
tried to let go the past, tried to carry the hurt
tried to step off the path but I just made a new one
'cause wherever I go I'm followed by all of this
"stone blind love"

Maybe nobody's watching, maybe God left the lab
maybe participating is what life's all about
getting burned by the sun
getting worn out and having a good cry
'cause nothing gets born
that's not someday going to die

so fly away...
Track Name: Hard Time Kitchen Floor Blues
Got my feet up on the table
Got a beer in my hand
Thinking bout the old days
When nothing was all I had

I would fight to make a dollar
Slave to make my way
I was always hungry
When a meal came my way
And I look at those old pictures hangin on the wall
Guess the hard times weren’t so hard at all

Now there’s a man in the mirror
Looking back at me
Wondering what happened
To that youthful energy

I had nothing I wanted
And everything to need
I was driven to learn
driven to be free
Now I look at those old pictures hangin on the wall
Guess the hard times weren’t so hard at all

And I look at kids today
Glued to their screens
Raised on fries and burgers
Indulged all through their teens

Everything they want
And nothing left to need
They wallow in an ocean
Of their own complacency

Never knowing real hunger
Never knowing real pain
Always taking for granted
The food on the plate
And I look at those old pictures hangin on the wall
Guess the hard times weren’t so hard at all

And I look back in the mirror
At the bags beneath my eyes
When did I become
All that I despised
An old judgmental bastard
Yearning for his youth
And telling tales of hardships
That aren’t distorted by the truth
And I look at those old pictures hangin on the wall
Guess the hard times weren’t so hard at all
Track Name: Long Road
he was driving those white horses
when the circus came to town
said we've been looking for you darlin'
you're a hard one to track down
but the fortune telling lady, she cannot tell a lie
and you were born to run with us, child
born to run until you die
and it's a hard road and it don't really go nowhere
but there's nowhere else to go but down that road

she was lighting 16 candles when the devil came to call
said I've been waiting for you darlin'
now you're old enough to fall
your parents signed the papers
but you don't have to go
if you don't you're on your own, though
on a cold and lonely road
and it's a long road and it don't really go nowhere
but there's nowhere else to go but down that road...
Track Name: Tell Me A Story
sing me goodnight, sing me goodnight
the day has burned down so bring up your light
carry the water to where it is dry
we've lived through another day so bring out your light

tell me a story, tell me a story
make it about a girl who acts a lot like me
but make her be stronger, make her know better
make her be braver than I've ever been

paint me a picture, paint me a picture
use every color that comes in the package
just show me something I haven't imagined
take me out dancing on the side of a mountain

tell me a secret, tell me a secret
make it a good one...
...yeah, that's a good one